What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 24.06.2025 01:54
One cannot live in the past .
I was very sick at this time too.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Can you describe what it's like to live in a town known for Harley Davidson motorcycles?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Why do Democrats never produce a good argument for why Trump was a bad president?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Would this be the day?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I could never make a relationship work though!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
It is possible to remove a voice from a double voice audio so I can hear just the one voice?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
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I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I think the readers, may guess!
Why did you choose not to join Mensa?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She was in good health!
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One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
She married twice! .
What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard a child cry about?
So whats the point in blame.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Why do people with trauma easily recognize other people with trauma through eye contact?
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I was 9 years of age.
I have no regrets .
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
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.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I will be 64.
Was to survive, this bastard.
What are the most outrageous violations of restaurant buffet etiquette have you seen?
All the time i was locked up.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Especially a lifetime of it.
She loved him until the end.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
My life is so biszare .
We all went to grammer schools
What did i know ?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
So, i spoilt her more .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He knew the spot.
Who then, do I blame.?
I never cut or harmed myself..
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
It was going to be , some day.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Im still living with it.
She found it foreign!.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I waited trembling.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
We were not on the streets..
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Comes on , in middle age.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
And i lived it daily.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I was seconnd youngest,
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I write beautiful poetry .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
But it wasn’t much.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He resisted the act ,that day.
Ive learnt so much.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
When she asked me how she looked .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
This is soul school!.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I don,t even have a pension.
I couldn’t, believe it.
As i do to all so called friends.?
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My family never makes their pension either.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I said to her
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But ive been too sick for many years..
I was scared of men, in general
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Put me off passion for life!!
She wouldn,t have been !
But, we were locked up after school.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him